You really hurt my feelings...
So, that line from Angel S2 "Epiphany" said by Cordelia to Angel is all i could think about earlier. First of all and off topic from what i wanted to write about, i love that line, its so sad and full of hurt, i love that episode.
Anyway so earlier tonight i wanted to go to Target to find one last small gift for my mom. I asked my sister if she wanted to go with me and she said yes. Her friend works there and he was there working when we got there. Anyway she walked in the store with me and we went to look at the clothes for a sec, i wanted to see if she would like the shirt i picked out for her the other day. So i kind of casually asked her about it and she seemed pretty much unimpressed with it. But there was this cute pink shirt with polka dots that she really loved so i was trying to decide how i could grab that one and just take the other one back without her knowing.
Then she said something about how her friend was calling her to go sit with him at Starbucks for a minute so she said I'll be right back where will you be? And i said i didnt know and she said ok I'll call you. So i kept walking around looking at various stuff just wanting to see if there were any last minute gifts i could buy. I walked around the entire store and found some stuff i wanted to ask her opinion on. It had been about 15 minutes or so and she sent me a fucking text and said what are you doing? I was fucking pissed so i just didn't respond and kept walking around looking at stuff.
I'm terrible at trying to decide on things without a second opinion and really wanted her help which was why i wanted her to come with me in the first place but finally, after about 10 or so more minutes of walking around alone, i realized that she wasn't going to come find me and help me out so i just went to get in line. I payed for my stuff, got the shirt she said she liked no less, didnt get most of the stuff i had been looking at because i could not decide plus i was pissed off. As i walked out i called her and said I paid for my stuff I'm walking out of the store, and she said wait for me and i said I'm already out. I got to the car and she got there a few seconds after me.
She got in and I didn't say anything. I wanted to scream at her and tell her how crappy that was and what a bitch she was to do that. She has done exactly this before once and it totally pissed me off because it was when i really needed her help trying to find a certain gift for my brother a month or so ago, and i told her then that it was really crappy and that it hurt my feelings. Anyway this time i just decided that obviously it didn't mean anything the first time i told her so i didn't say a single word to her in the car.
But the more i was thinking about it driving home the more pissed off i got and the more the whole situation just started to really hurt my feelings. I mean hello all she ever does anymore is talk to them so is it too much to think that maybe we could go to fucking Target and i wouldnt be given the fucking brushoff there? I dont care if she went and said hey and sat with him for a few minutes and then called me to find out where i was or whatever but she just completely ignored me and then sent a fucking text! Anyway so thinking about the whole thing in the car driving home with her and how she hurt my feelings i started to fucking cry.
I hate crying, i mean i know no one likes to cry but i mean like i really hate it i don't like for anyone to see me cry and the fact that she made me cry because she's a rude, selfish bitch just made me even more angry. The only thing she said to me the whole time on the way home was "i didn't know i was going to be there that long", and that was it. I came home and had to wipe the tears off my face and rush inside so no one saw me because i was sure it was obvious i had been crying a little. But of course my dad saw and came upstairs to ask what was wrong. Whatever, soon she'll be little ms. university bound and she won't have to worry about her stupid, deadbeat, boring sister crying about her feelings being hurt.
On a completely different note, yay, Christmas is almost here!!!!!!!!! i love Christmas. I am so excited. I think i am pretty much done shopping, i mean i just will probably get carried away and buy more stuff for people that they don't really need before Christmas gets here. I love these last few days leading up to Christmas, they are the best. I really want a video iPod for Christmas. I said i didn't after i asked for one on my list because i realized how greedy it was to ask for something so expensive, but my dad keeps saying that he doesn't care what i say now he knows i really want one so I'm getting one. Yippee!!!!
Anyway i just wanted to rant and say Merry Christmas mostly to myself because who am i fooling thinking anyone else reads this boring, whiny shit, but just in case there is one person out there who is reading this, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all that other good stuff.
"Where it was dark now there's light
Where there was pain now there's joy
Where there was weakness, I found my strength
All in the eyes of a boy" "A New Day Has Come" by Celine Dion
Yes it's a Celine Dion song, i can't help it i love this song, it's my song to my brother. Well one of them at least. I love that boy.
Night.
Anyway so earlier tonight i wanted to go to Target to find one last small gift for my mom. I asked my sister if she wanted to go with me and she said yes. Her friend works there and he was there working when we got there. Anyway she walked in the store with me and we went to look at the clothes for a sec, i wanted to see if she would like the shirt i picked out for her the other day. So i kind of casually asked her about it and she seemed pretty much unimpressed with it. But there was this cute pink shirt with polka dots that she really loved so i was trying to decide how i could grab that one and just take the other one back without her knowing.
Then she said something about how her friend was calling her to go sit with him at Starbucks for a minute so she said I'll be right back where will you be? And i said i didnt know and she said ok I'll call you. So i kept walking around looking at various stuff just wanting to see if there were any last minute gifts i could buy. I walked around the entire store and found some stuff i wanted to ask her opinion on. It had been about 15 minutes or so and she sent me a fucking text and said what are you doing? I was fucking pissed so i just didn't respond and kept walking around looking at stuff.
I'm terrible at trying to decide on things without a second opinion and really wanted her help which was why i wanted her to come with me in the first place but finally, after about 10 or so more minutes of walking around alone, i realized that she wasn't going to come find me and help me out so i just went to get in line. I payed for my stuff, got the shirt she said she liked no less, didnt get most of the stuff i had been looking at because i could not decide plus i was pissed off. As i walked out i called her and said I paid for my stuff I'm walking out of the store, and she said wait for me and i said I'm already out. I got to the car and she got there a few seconds after me.
She got in and I didn't say anything. I wanted to scream at her and tell her how crappy that was and what a bitch she was to do that. She has done exactly this before once and it totally pissed me off because it was when i really needed her help trying to find a certain gift for my brother a month or so ago, and i told her then that it was really crappy and that it hurt my feelings. Anyway this time i just decided that obviously it didn't mean anything the first time i told her so i didn't say a single word to her in the car.
But the more i was thinking about it driving home the more pissed off i got and the more the whole situation just started to really hurt my feelings. I mean hello all she ever does anymore is talk to them so is it too much to think that maybe we could go to fucking Target and i wouldnt be given the fucking brushoff there? I dont care if she went and said hey and sat with him for a few minutes and then called me to find out where i was or whatever but she just completely ignored me and then sent a fucking text! Anyway so thinking about the whole thing in the car driving home with her and how she hurt my feelings i started to fucking cry.
I hate crying, i mean i know no one likes to cry but i mean like i really hate it i don't like for anyone to see me cry and the fact that she made me cry because she's a rude, selfish bitch just made me even more angry. The only thing she said to me the whole time on the way home was "i didn't know i was going to be there that long", and that was it. I came home and had to wipe the tears off my face and rush inside so no one saw me because i was sure it was obvious i had been crying a little. But of course my dad saw and came upstairs to ask what was wrong. Whatever, soon she'll be little ms. university bound and she won't have to worry about her stupid, deadbeat, boring sister crying about her feelings being hurt.
On a completely different note, yay, Christmas is almost here!!!!!!!!! i love Christmas. I am so excited. I think i am pretty much done shopping, i mean i just will probably get carried away and buy more stuff for people that they don't really need before Christmas gets here. I love these last few days leading up to Christmas, they are the best. I really want a video iPod for Christmas. I said i didn't after i asked for one on my list because i realized how greedy it was to ask for something so expensive, but my dad keeps saying that he doesn't care what i say now he knows i really want one so I'm getting one. Yippee!!!!
Anyway i just wanted to rant and say Merry Christmas mostly to myself because who am i fooling thinking anyone else reads this boring, whiny shit, but just in case there is one person out there who is reading this, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all that other good stuff.
"Where it was dark now there's light
Where there was pain now there's joy
Where there was weakness, I found my strength
All in the eyes of a boy" "A New Day Has Come" by Celine Dion
Yes it's a Celine Dion song, i can't help it i love this song, it's my song to my brother. Well one of them at least. I love that boy.
Night.
posted by Not This Girl, Not This Day at 2:20 AM
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